Happy Cancer Girl

A Happy Girls Journey with Cancer

The Saddest Place on Earth

on March 27, 2013

If Disneyland is the happiest place on earth then I think that the oncology ward is the saddest place on earth. I am generally in good spirits, but after I leave the oncology centre I am sad and don’t feel like talking with anyone. The doctors always seem to be running late, so a quick 15 minute appointment turns into 3 hours. The waiting room is filled with old people, the only person I’ve seen younger then me is the receptionist. The waiting sucks, but I think the worst part about being there is how sad most of the people look. They look tired, sick and beaten down. I hope I don’t look the same way in a couple of months.

Owen and I met with the oncologist. She has decided to go along with the surgeon in Halifax. I will be doing 6 rounds of chemo. She thinks I only need 1 drug which will be hard on my bone marrow, blood counts and kidneys, but I won’t lose my hair. However, she wanted to make sure the surgeon in Halifax agrees, so it could change and if it does, it will mean having 2 drugs and hair loss, mouth sores and possibly numb hands and feet. My first chemo treatment will be on April 8th, I’m glad to finally have a start date and more of a plan! Unfortunately I don’t get to attend the chemo teaching session they usually do on Mondays because this Monday is a holiday and I start chemo the following Monday. Hopefully they will fill me in while I am there getting my treatment!

I’m sorry for my lack in replies and posts lately. I hope to post more and reply to your comments in a more timely manner, but I can’t make any promises. I don’t know how I will be feeling in the next couple of weeks. For now I am fighting the flu which has been really hard on me with my immune system already taking a big hit.

Have a good Easter!

7 responses to “The Saddest Place on Earth

  1. Hi Renee, so sorry to hear u have the flu, but hopefully it won’t hit you hard in which I know u have had a very rough road, maybe finally the road you have been on will soon start getting smoother for u,. u deserve a better road to travel, hope ur treatments will help you to recovery u have had a sickly stretch and hopefully soon thing will get easier, and do remember you got lots pulling for u, we all just want u to feel better real soon,and be able to put your pretty smile on your pretty face but I do wish you a Happy Easter , do the best u can have a good easter and a great weekend u deserve it .well once u get ur treatments started hopefully they will fly by fast, do u go once a month or more often?when my sister-in- law had hers it was once a month.well Renee still praying for u and will keep praying for u until your all better,AFA Lee Ann, loads of hugs coming ur way..,

  2. Rachel says:

    Hi big sis!
    As I sit here reading a novel I get the strangest feeling to see if you’ve posted a new blog & here it is.

    You already know where I sit on the fence with this whole my sister has cancer thing. I hope my song request today at least lifted you a tiny bit! 😉

    Know that I love you, the kids love you & even Jim-Bo loves you. I’ve been praying for you to find some strength to get you through the next few months. Yes, I’ve been praying. (New found faith?)
    Anyway! Lets FaceTime again soon, it was nice to see your pretty face.

    Remember, even truck drivers are rooting for you 😉

    Love ya!!!

  3. Patsy says:

    I bet that your smiley face and upbeat aura made the day of the sad people a bit brighter ❤

    I know what you mean with being the youngest there, though. Most of the dialysis patients are elderly, it's also a very sad place – the older patients have that same demeanor – defeated. My thought has been that they are already tired and weak to begin with so when they have these procedures done, it takes a bigger toll on them. Arlen goes in with his laptop and Subway, in the summer he usually takes the bike there so he's going in with a helmet as well – all the while, sad and tired eyes follow him through the unit.

    It's out of place for them to see such young people in these units as well. I'm confident that you will be the ray of light in someone's day – just when they are thinking "Why bother", you will come in with your bright sunny aura. I know that you will be the smile at least one person will need on that day to get them through to the next.

    Try not to get discouraged, someone there will benefit from your presence. I guarantee it.

    For you – Melissa Etheridge, I Run for Life


  4. goldeygrad97 says:

    I don’t know what kind of drug they are proposing, but I was on a mix of carboplatin and paclitaxel – both included hair loss, and you know what, it is no big deal. *hugs* The numbness in the hands and feet sound like paclitaxel. Go with the recommendations of the one who did the surgery – that’s the doctor that SAW YOUR INSIDES and know what is in there.

    And you might want to bring up sandwich therapy. The reason I suggest this is because folks with our type of cancer have an 80% survival rate with sandwich therapy vs. chemo alone. It involves 3 rounds of chemo and then you get a break for radiation, and then three more rounds of chemo – it is easier on your body. YOU are in charge of your treatments. NOT your doctors.

    Best of luck. I agree – one of the worst places on Earth for me was the cancer center. I told my husband, “All of these people are sick – they have cancer.” To which he said to me, “Love, so do you.” But you can make it a happy place. A positive attitude makes things go much easier. I promise.

    Good luck.

    • I found out yesterday that I will be having carboplatin every 21 days and paclitaxel once every week. I will now officially lose my hair, but I don’t think it will bother me too much. I’ve been told I don’t need to do radiation because the cancer didn’t spread to the cervix and I only had a few odd cells in my uterus.

      I think I still don’t see myself as a cancer patient, it may sink in once I start treatment!

      Hope your having a good day.

  5. Erin says:

    Thinking of you today Renee, hope you are feeling better and got to have some Easter treats this weekend.
    Sending positive thoughts your way:)

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