Happy Cancer Girl

A Happy Girls Journey with Cancer

1 Year Hysterversary

on February 19, 2014

Warning: This post is a little random and all over the place.

It has been a whole year since my total hysterectomy….a whole year! I think the older you get, the faster time goes. As I was going through treatments it didn’t feel fast, but to look back on the past year so much has happened and here we are again, in February.

To be honest, I don’t know what to do with this blog anymore. I know I want to keep it open so that maybe other women who need information will find it. I had the blog so I could keep everyone updated, and to share real information about what was going on with me. However, once the doctor said my scans were clean I felt like that was it. Who wants to hear from the Happy Cancer Girl who doesn’t have cancer?

I don’t have cancer. Is that really right? I had cancer, but my scans are clean…so that means I don’t have cancer? I’m a cancer survivor, at least that’s what I am today. I go back to see the oncologist in 2 weeks for my quarterly check up, fingers crossed that all is well inside of my body.

I have been having a hard time sleeping the past couple of weeks. I try to forget everything that has happened with me, but being a year ago that I had my surgery makes that hard. I still have nightmares, not blood and gore, but real life nightmares.

One of my sister-in-law’s gave birth to a beautiful baby boy a few weeks ago. She has been so kind to me and has allowed me to spend as much time with Max as I would like. My love for him is deep (likely because he is the first nephew to be born post hysterectomy), and of course he has been automatically added to my list of rent-a-kids. Spending lots of time with the baby has amazing, but it has also been hard on me. Being with him makes me long to have a baby of my own, but that isn’t possible. I know that there is adoption, but with all of the red tape and the fact that I have a type of cancer that has a high recurrence rate doesn’t make me a very good candidate. It makes it hard to not go through the questions, why did this happen to me?, what did I do to deserve this?, why me, why me, why me?? Seriously cancer can make a person really self involved!!

On a bright and non-cancer note, I am tutoring a little boy in Grade 2 reading. It was been an interesting experience for me. I love to read and really wanted to be able to share that with someone. In just a few weeks I already see an improvement in his reading, a couple hours a week can make such a big difference.

My taste in music lately has been more on the folky/mellow side, here’s a couple video’s for you to enjoy!

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8 responses to “1 Year Hysterversary

  1. goldeygrad97 says:

    I know what you are going through. And I feel for you. *hugs*

  2. Anita Finnamore says:

    Love and Prayers.

  3. Aunt Mimi says:

    OMG….Love the Hysterversary and that we are able to say you are a cancer survivor!
    On a selfish note, I have been so missing your updates and music…Thank you for posting both!

  4. Lee Ann Buxton says:

    Congrats Renee am so glad to hear that you are cancer free thats amazing and hope you stay cancer free you deserve the right to be cancer free you went through a lot, but I know the feeling of hearing the cancer word I hate that word.hope and pray you stay cancer free,and I hope I never hear that I got cancer again, lots of hugs coming your way and I enjoy reading your blog, its taught me a thing or two about cancer.But I guess once you have cancer its always at the back of our minds.will continue praying you stay cancer free.. please keep your blog going so we know how your doing wishing,you all the best at your next appointment. AFA Lee Ann

    • Thanks Lee Ann. Being told I was cancer free was great, although it will be something in the back of my mind always as I’m sure you feel the same way. I hope you are doing well. I’m sure I will post often, I can’t help myself! 🙂

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